I kissed Dating Goodbye after 4 Weeks {0}
Above is close up of the bottom of the book we’ve been going through with the students of Redeemer. Each week the students read two chapters and when we meet up we go over a series of questions designed to get them thinking about the content of the book and their own views on relationships. We split into High School Girls, High School Boys, Junior High Girls and Junior High Boys. It has been interesting to get feedback from each group as the students are in a variety of seasons of life.
You can see the subtitle of the book above, “A New Attitude Toward Romance and Relationships.” Having completed the first 6 chapters with the students we’ve now considered what the world’s pattern of dating including the romantic expectations that come from boyfriend/girlfriend/dating relationships and the overwhelming selfishness that governs the worldly model of dating. The author has shared what he calls the Relationship Principle, “The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment.”
In chapter three we learned the 7 habits of highly defective dating, 1. Dating tends to skip the “friendship stage of the relationship. 2. Dating often mistakes a physical relationship for love. 3. Dating often isolates a couple from other vital relationships. 4. Dating, in many cases, distracts young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future. 5. Dating can cause discontentment with God’s gift of singleness. 6. Dating creates an artificial environment for evaluating anther person’s character. 7. Dating often becomes and end in itself.
In Chapter four we the new attitude about relationships began to be laid out. Turning from the model we’ve watched from an early age in Disney films and what we learn from TV, magazines and books about dating even at such a young age the author gives us five attitude changes to help avoid defective dating. 1. Every relationship is an opportunity to model Christ’s love. 2. My unmarried years are a gift from God. 3. I don’t need to pursue a romantic relationship before I’m ready for marriage. 4. I cannot “own” someone outside of marriage. 5. I will avoid situations that could compromise the purity of my body or mind.
Chapter five compared the world’s definition of love with that we see in Scripture. The World’s definition mostly deals with feelings and the fulfillment of self. Scripture on the other hand defines it completely different with serving others.
Finally chapter six explores the seasons of our lives and the different emphasis that defines each season. Students are encouraged to embrace this season of singleness and to not try to rush into a later season of life.
Students are encouraged to nurture relationships with the opposite gender, but to do so by throwing out the world’s model of dating and pursue a better way that is based on what we learn about relationships form the Word of God. We’ve asked them to consider how they can encourage their brothers and sisters in Christ. This goes well beyond rules of simply allowing dating at a certain age, or certain curfews or any other basic modifications to a dating model that proven to not be the best we can do as believers in Christ. It requires students and their parents buying into this better way as we consider this important aspect of relationships during the teenage and following years. Parents if you have not been reading your child’s book I encourage you to read it and consider this new attitude and mindset with your children. This has been my favorite study we’ve done with the students yet, hank you for allowing your children to take part in this study all summer.
